I left Austin, TX on May 22. I've been on the road almost 5 weeks. Twenty four corporate years allowed me typically a two week stretch. Subtract a few days from that two weeks for travel, a few days to change your mindset and pace, a few days to dread heading back, a few days to get back, and a few days to get ready for work - that nets out about 3 consecutives days of true 'vacation' for 24 years. Shit.
Five weeks ago I left. I started in Texas. I'm now in, well, I'm still in Texas. You could say I have lingered, but I have liked lingering. Five weeks.
I've been talking about this break for a long time. My friends were tired of hearing about it. Yeah, yeah, we know - you want to quit your job and travel. I sounded like a broken record, but I was reluctant to make the change. My rational mind said - you have a good salary, 401(K), benefits, you like who you work with, you have your future and career to think about. My inner mind said - 'Come on, man. Let's get ourselves out of this trap. You've locked us in a prison of your own making. Let's blow this pop stand, time is ticking'.
As Pink Floyd says "one day you look around you, 10 (20) years have got behind you, no one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun"'. Although successful in many measures, in some important, soulful ways I felt that I missed the starting gun.
So I left. It took me some time. I lingered, pushing out my departure date, doing some consulting, it helped me get emotionally and financally ready to leave, but it took some time. I had multiple going away parties. People at work looked confused whent they saw me. They didn't know what to say to me. They would look at me and narrow their eyes, "are you back" or "didn't you leave". I must admit, it was hard to let go, even though I wanted to go. It was hard to let go of a place I had spent all my adult life.
Let's just say, that like in the old pirate movies, I walked the plank. Kind of. I spent some time walking the plank. I analyzed the plank. I weighed the pros of cons of the plank. I scoped out the plank. I mapped it. I defined the requirements. I walked out to the edges and looked around. I tried to anticipate how the water must feel. I tried to tip my toe in the water a little. When I eventually hit the water, it was not so much as jumping off the plank, as letting myself down slowly, fingernails dug in, letting go with one finger, than another, and finally gently sliding into the water after an excruciating hang.
But, I finally did it. And I'm in San Antonio, TX.
As I checked into the hotel, there was a business meeting in progress. There were lots of people with their roll aboard suitcases, their nametags, their laptop bags. I had my motorcycle helmet and jacket, motorcycle saddlebags, and laptop bag. It all felt strangely familar, but also quite different. I was used to living in a world where a different set of criteria defined me - my title, my budget, the size of my department, my salary and benefits, my possessions. My world used to be budgets, vision and mission statements, performance objectives, 5% budget reduction exercises, staffing plans, status reports, 10% budget reduction exercises, capital investment requests, outsourcing studies, project requests.
Now I was an outsider looking into that world. I still cared about my laptop and internet access, but for my self, not to check my work email to see what the latest fire drill or crisis du jour was. I cared more about my wallet, my keys, my credit care, my tent and sleeping bag,and leather jacket, and helmet, and my horse, Bella.
Actually Bella is not a horse. She is a motorcycle. And I'm not sure she is a she, I'd guess I'd rather she be a she than a he. And to be honest, I find naming vehicles to be annoying, although I suppose it's okay for boats. But a friend I know names her vehicles, and if you use the name with conviction, consistently, not half-heartedly or embarrasedly, it does kind of catch on. And Bella it is much shorter to say then 'my motorcycle' or 'my 2002 BMW Silver R1150RT motorcycle'. So meet Bella.
So here we are - Bella and I, saddled down in Memphis (San Antonio) with the Memphis (San Antonio) blues again.
